[Hazuki Sensi]

This is my review - obviously it contains spoilers - Enjoy

What the hell was Square-Enix smoking when it thought that this truly awful lump of crap was a good idea? I am referring, of course, to the game that has managed to destroy one of the best game series ever, Final Fantasy X-2. After playing Final Fantasy X-2, and after wiping the vomit from my lips, I found it hard to put my feelings into words, but no, I felt my message had to be heard so I decided to write a review of FFX-2, and why it gives me an immense impulse to choke on my own puke. Enjoy.

The Sequel -
Every new FF game is completely different. Different world, characters, fight systems and storylines. Except this one. This one carries on two years after FFX ended, firstly - what an utterly terrible idea! Past FF games always leave you free to make up you’re own mind about the truth behind the game (for example, FFVIII let you decide whether or not Laguna was actually Squall’s father or if Rinoa was actually Ultimica) FFX was no different. After the credits we see the main character Tidus swimming away somewhere, your allowed to make up your own mind about whether he was somehow still alive, in the farplane or back in his dream world. It should have been left like that, but no, a sequel destroyed the whole idea of an open ended story, thus the power and the uniqueness of the ending is totally destroyed and ruined by this game. Not only do you get to find out what happens, what actually happens is bollocks. I wouldn’t have minded as much if FFX ended on a cliff hanger or a big “TO BE CONTINUED” (well actually I would have, but this aint no review of FFX), but it didn’t, the story was actually over. So why make a sequel? It seems that Square have totally sold out with this game, it wasnt needed in any sense, the story was finished, and a sequel was simply uneeded - now Ive established this games exsistance is pointless, lets take a closer look...

The Characters -
The characters of this game are completely paper thin and leave much to be desired. Basically we have 3 Rikkus in hot pants. Why you ask? Cause its what sells. It makes no sense to remove character traits and varieties gained in the first game. Just to justify this lets look at the main characters

Yuna - The summoner from the previous game has since settled down in her home of Besaid. Then after seeing a sphere of a person she thought was dead she embarks on a new journey to find him - apparently. What she actually does is screw about selling tickets and dressing up as moogles, which has no relevance to her story. She spends about 10 minutes in the game thinking about “him” (Just call him Tidus! None of this “you-know-who” bull) and spends most of her time acting like Rikku. One is too much as it is. Yuna has apparently sacrificed all her ideals, independence and clothing in order to be “free” of her old lifestyle. In fact, she almost takes offence when people call her the high summoner, even though the whole point of the first game was to become the high summoner, you know, that whole ridding the world from Sin and living up to your fathers name thing you did 2 years ago. Anyone would consider this title an honour, in stead of shunning the name as if you were ashamed (for example, when Gippal calls her the great high summoner, she is quick to correct him with “former summoner” as if shes embarressed about her great legacy for reasons unknown). Whenever Yuna does slip back into the Yuna from FFX she is made fun of by Paine, Rikku and many other characters, like Leblanc or Beclem, for example. Yuna’s character has been completely transformed from the strong, independent woman of the first game into another Rikku, annoyingly teeny bubblegum and an “everything is great I‘m so happy!” sort of person. They then justify this change by stating that she has spread her wings. If spreading your wings involves forgetting who you are, running around the world doing seemingly pointless errands and becoming a scandily clad immoral bimbo, I’d rather question the whole modern femminist image personally.

Next we have Rikku, as if she wasn’t annoying enough in the first game, she now has lost any morals or standards that made up her character. In FFX she would never have said things like “oh, can’t we give him a discount, because I’m all girly and I really want to screw Gippal, ‘couse I’m a slapper.” OK, I added a bit to that quote but I think if she actually did say this it would fit into the script. You get my point? She would never have said something like “let’s give him a discount” just because she had a crush on him in the last game. Besides, she has no point in this game, she doesn’t contribute anything to the plot except sex appeal to keep the teenagers masterbating and an endless array of really irritating phrases. There is no character growth, no moral to her story, nothing at all, rendering her role as filler and thus pointless.

Paine would seem to be the only character that has a point to exist in the story, but still, the character is full of holes. They try to portray her as this to-cool-for-school bitch with a don’t give a f*** attitude, but she constantly shrugs off this bad ass image and becomes all girly-girl as she dances about and says things like “pre concert hurt fest time.” - sigh..... And another thing, is there a connection between her obsession with hurting people and that bondage costume she’s always wearing?

Then we have the sub characters, which are usually hopelessly annoying or totally irrelevant and abstract to the story. Brother! - enough said. He’s not funny or clever, he’s a pervert and a b*****d to put it politley. How come the character Calli grew into adulthood in 2 short years when Passe hasn’t grown at all? Am I the only one to find these constan inconsistansies sloopy and a sign of poor development? Characters like Buddy or Le Blanc have no main point to the story but to supply pretty cut scenes and to annoy me. While the voice acting is the usual crud we’ve come to expect of Japanese translated games, this game has a seemingly pointless repertoire of annoying phrases:-

“I’m gonna whack you good” - Rikku (like that isnt suggestive)

“I’m gonna kick you in the spleen” - Rikku
“Spleen?”-Paine (no comment...ill just die a little inside)

“Come in!!!” - Brother (doesn't get anywhere close to funny no matter how many times you repeat it...)


“You look a tad flushed”- Logos
“Nooji-Wooji”-Leblanc
“Loves” - Le Blanc (this is supposed to be villian talk?)

“You’ve found our sphere now give it back” - Ormi (....right)

“Dullwings” - Le Blanc (oh how mature, witty and clever)

“Dancing Yuna I want to see!”-Brother (now I think about it, isn’t Yuna Brother’s cousin? Why is he so desperate to screw her?)

“Gullwings go, la la la la la. Gulliwings fight, la la la la.”- Shinra
“They, like, totally wet their pants!”-Rikku
“You can lead a dullwing to water but you can’t make it drink”-Logos (They actually spent time writing this crap?)

Need I say more? I thought Logos saying “feeling lucky punk” was bad enough, if Clint Eastwood was dead he’d be turning in his grave.