The Slasher film Laws.

[Terminal Est]

I created these about three years ago, and thought I would share them here. I do not know if there are any slasher film fans here, but even so, maybe you will get a laugh out of it?

Well, here they are, the Slasher Film Laws.

I-Female characters are always stupid, and shall trip, fall and scream while running away, basically doing absolutely everything one should not do while attempting to escape from a maniac.
Unless she is the main character, or a sub character such as listed in Law IX.

II-''Is anyone here?!'' is the most common phrase found in horror movie vocabulary.

III-One must always enter the one place, weather it be an old, dilapidated house or dark, scary alley, completely oblivious to the beyond obvious fact that it is a sure death trap.

IV-While exploring, doors shall always be unlocked.

V-While escaping, all doors are always locked.

VI-Rain and thunderstorms are the only type of weather a horrific incident shall see. Apparently, murderers and maniacs are great weather predictors.

VII-Exact amounts of blood, brains and innards found in the human body are completely disregarded in respects to reality.

VIII-Female characters always look pretty in death, ignoring the obvious realism in respect to the aftermath of murder.

IX-Suspense always includes dumb characters, a boring beginning, cheesy scares and countless movie production errors.

X-The problem always lies at the root of some cliché and stereotyped psychological issue, in most cases dealing with an Oedipus Complex.

XI-Chainsaws are only for public attraction.
An exception to the rule; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

XII-Ending climaxes are rendered invalid as such, for despite the obvious exaggerations, the maniac shall always come back.

XIII-Psychics or said to be mental patients are supposed to be an original replacement for the often found love story meant as a sub plot.

XIV-There are more false alarms then actual murders.

XV-''I'll be right back'' is the greatest slasher movie contradiction ever.



Can you guys think of some more?

[starlightCRUSH*]

The woman always breathes heavy, walks into the bathroom, then she pulls the shower curtain out of the way to reveal that no one is there. Then, OMG, the slasher/ex-boyfriend is ALWAYS there a second later, right by the bathroom entrance, where he grabs here, then the woman hits him with a vase or something and he stays unconscious for about a third of the film. Then a minor character, like a fat guy you think got shot and killed will eventually wakeup and end up saving the day. The cops show up, a few silly jokes to wrap up the film--the end.

[VITG]

Originally Posted by Terminal Est

IV-While exploring, doors shall always be unlocked.

V-While escaping, all doors are always locked.

I particularly liked those two

[bond of flames 2.0]

Sadly its true. With those two. I have a rule though

Apprentices of the murderers always die. Why because they have to.

In 90% of all horor movies I've seen there are always nudity scenes. Exception was the newer Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Jessica Beil.
I don't watch a lot of horror but the Saw series Is where i got my rule and the nudity thing is just true.

[Terminal Est]

The Saw series is a new breed of slasher films, and I am sure that in the future, we shall see many films that have been influenced by the series.
Finally! Only after like, ten years, slasher film producers realized that we are no longer in the eighties.

Bond of Flames, keep your rule in mind! If you see it realized in future films, you can become my apprentice.

[bond of flames 2.0]

kk i'll keep that in mind. Yeah i guess your right.

[JET73L]

The house is always either horribly dilapidated, or in good condition with exactly one thing odd about it.

There is always a dead end somewhere (entrance road, corridor, potential escape route in woods)

There is a scene where someone is trying to sneak up on the maniac, sometimes even able to see them, buit at the critical moment the y are either distracted or mistaken, the "thrill background" music ends for a moment, and there is a sudden burst of sound as the characxter comes face-to-face with someone (maniac, friend, reflection. If reflection, one of the other two often follows.)

I'm not a big fan of the whole slasher movie thing, so these are based on only a few movies, some novellized versions of movies, and some screenplays, but as far as I know, they are accurate (especially the 2nd one)

[Terminal Est]

Oh those are quite common. Great job, for someone who does not watch them often.

Of course, if you have seen one slasher film, you basically have seen all of them..

[bond of flames 2.0]

I got a new one basing it on the very few I've seen. The maniac always has some reason for being the maniac he is. The reason for his killing. Or why he kills i'm pretty sure there the same thing but when i thought they sound different and I can't remember why.

[VITG]

Originally Posted by bond of flames 2.0

I got a new one basing it on the very few I've seen. The maniac always has some reason for being the maniac he is. The reason for his killing. Or why he kills i'm pretty sure there the same thing but when i thought they sound different and I can't remember why.

Not to be rude but a character in a movie having a motive isn't really confined to the slasher genre..