Hail to Monty Python

[Captain Killa]

Monty Python were huge in their time, and i loved their films including the holy grail, life of brian and many more, and heres the place to laugh at/about, post quotes about, and generally chat about Monty Python.


I loved the 'stoning' in Life Of Brain:

(crowd)*said in girlish voice* ''her her her'', *suddenly tones down to a more manly voice* ''her, her,''

(scroll reader) ...''are there any women here today?''

*crowd looks down, as if to hide something*

(scroll reader).''very well then...''

(skip through the chatter)


(scroll reader).''...for saying the holiness' name''

(prisoner) ''all i said was, this leg of lamb is good enough for Johovah'' (Ihovah in latin :P)

(crowd) ''whoa, get him'', *angry mob noises*

(scroll reader) (to prisoner) ''dont, your only making this worse for yourself''

(prisoner) ''how could this be worse? Im about to be stoned to death!! Johovah, Johovah''

(scroll reader) ''HOW DARE YOU SAY JOHOVAH!!''

(crowd) ''what?'' *throws stones at scroll reader*

(scroll reader) ''stop it! now, nobody is to stone anyone until i blow this whistle !'' *holds up whistle* ''not even if they DO say Johovah!''

*crowd stones scroll reader to the floor*

[Taliah]

OMG I love Monty Python so much you have no idea....

"ARTHUR: I am,... and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the
length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my
court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
SOLDIER #1: What? Ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
SOLDIER #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
SOLDIER #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em
together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land,
through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
SOLDIER #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
ARTHUR: We found them.
SOLDIER #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
SOLDIER #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the
plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to
our land?
SOLDIER #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all. They could be carried.
SOLDIER #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
SOLDIER #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question
of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur
from the Court of Camelot is here.
SOLDIER #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs
to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
SOLDIER #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
SOLDIER #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
SOLDIER #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow.
That's my point.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
SOLDIER #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah...
SOLDIER #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2: Well, why not?"

It cracks me up!

[Argo]

I love Monty Python:

ARTHUR: Well, I am king!
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the--
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting-- By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,-- But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--

WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up, will you. Shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

[The_True_Keyblader]

Whats Monty Python about

[Taliah]

*gasp* You Don't Know?!

[The_True_Keyblader]

um know i dont know monty python at all um sry if i kinda scared you and killed you lol
Oh and also Taliah you sound just like Rikku

[Taliah]

Maybe I only sound like her cause her picture is above everything I say....
but I'll take that as a compliment!

Well here is the Wikipedia definition (because if I defined something as great as Monty Python, I couldn't do it justice):
Monty Python, or The Pythons, is the collective name of the creators and stars of Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on October 5, 1969. It went on to make 45 episodes over four series. However, the Python phenomenon was much greater, spawning stage tours, a musical, four films, numerous albums, several computer games and books, as well as launching the members to individual stardom.

and they made several movies. They're just a really funny group.

[srgtpepperisthebest]

Monty Python was created by some great and holy god.

Guard yourself from fresh fruit. thats all i'm gonna say.

[Argo]

HEAD KNIGHT OF NI: Ni!
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!
RANDOM: Ni!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
BEDEVERE: Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Peng, and Neee-wom!
RANDOM: Neee-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Ni!
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!...
ARTHUR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Ow! Oh!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIGHT: Now... go!

ARTHUR: We are looking for a shrubbery...
CRONE: Aggh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and Iwill say... we will say... 'ni'.
CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!
ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,... ni!
CRONE: No! Never! No shrubberies!
ARTHUR: Ni!
CRONE: [cough]
ROGER THE SHRUBBER: Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman?
ARTHUR: Erm, yes.
ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can 'ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
ARTHUR: Did you say 'shrubberies'?
ROGER: Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Rogerthe Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'.
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Shh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'.
RANDOM: Ni!
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til Recently Said 'Ni'?

[exile9013]

This part comes latter in the holy grail and also has to do with taliahs from earlier

Old dude:to pass you must answer me these riddles three.
Old dude:what is your name
Galahad:galahada of the kights of the round table.
Old dude:What is your quest
Galahad:to find the holy grail
Old dude:what is your favorite colour
Galahad:Blue...No.(galahad goes flying into the gorge of despair)

(Arthur approches.)

Old dude:What is your nmae
Arthur:King arthur of camolot
Old dude:What is your quest
Arthur:to find the holy grail
Old dude:What is the air speed volocity of a swallow
Arthur:normal or african swallow
Old dude:wait...what
(Old dude goes flying into the pit of despair)