Madman's Library

[Son of Sephiroth]

The darkness within the mind

This particular tome is only classified book based on it's appearance as within it's "pages" there is no text. Instead every single page is coloured a unifrom black, though every person who vews it claims to see vague shapes of monsters.

The description of said monsters differ from person to person.

[JET73L]

House of Leaves
Like The darkness within the mind, this book has pages that are completely blacked out within the margins that cause a strong foreboding. However, the text may be vaguely seen as though it was done with a Sharpie, and there are hints of red and either blue or purple, as well as blank spaces and odd text formats later in the book. Some pages have pieces missing, and there is a slightly fraying piece of orange twine between two leaves of the book slightly less than halfway through.

Book of Leaves
A guide to apothecary and herbal remedies, the book has pressings of petals, leaves, and the occasional whole stem or plant that grow back in about an hour.

[Zotar]

The Vandalized Book Of Vandalism

This book is a textbook detailing various ways art has been used throughout history as ways to assert authority, subvert authority, mark territory, make political statements, or just mess about with people's minds. However, less than 30% of the text is still legible at any given time.
Not only has this book been vandalized in an apparent demonstration, but it has also been jinxed so that the works of vandals come to life so as to distract and annoy the reader.
A strange amateur illustration of a fluffy monster is often seen roaming the garbage-littered pages in various states of boredom, frequently eating bits of actual text and illustrations while leaving his own marks here and there. Among other things, the words "Jathrax the Mad Vorpal Bunny Hybrid Was Here" are found scrawled on many of the more unreadable pages.


Sketchbook of Lost Souls

This completely blank artist's sketchbook is bound by powerful magics.
Anyone who holds it is no longer bound by the limitations of his or her previous levels of artistic prowess. The possessor gains the gift of being able to draw photo-realistic master-pieces using only a graphite pencil. But the extraordinary artifact has a more sinister side.
If the user were to draw a living thing, one of two things could occur. If the featured subject is not real, the black and white picture will become blank and a living flesh and blood model in full color will be conjured upon completion. Any living entity created in this way will behave completely savage no matter how benign it may have been portrayed, with no distinction between friend, foe, or object to be smashed. Only when the artist draws the same subject again or the artist is killed will the entity vanish.
If the user of the sketchbook were to use a living thing as a model for his work, that being ceases to exist in the real world and the picture on the page will behave as if it were a living entity trapped within. Drawing the same subject again or killing the artist are the only ways to reverse this. No word yet as to the effects of drawing still-life or landscape sketches.

[JET73L]

Now You See It
A book of monsters and useful objects (mostly barricades), interspersed with a few unusual pictures such as idyllic glades and comfortable chairs surrounded with expensive foods and attractive servants, and two dry-erase charmed pages with various blank signs (arrows, banners, etc.). The introduction explains the book as a "fools' detour" assist, as tapping twice on an image or description will summon a pre-defined illusion thereof (more complicated tap sequences change certain variables of the illusion), but a creative mind can find other uses such as meditation or a Tantalus torment.

Your Mind Makes It Real: The Fantastic Feats of Louis Mesmer
A four-part book containing the biography of Louis Mesmer and explanations of his research in hypnosis, the effects were only noticed because a page carefully ripped from Now You See It was left in as a bookmark (more specifically, the Djinn And Bottle illusion page). It became apparent after extensicve testing that any illusion spell with a physical focus placed between the pages of the book during activation gains a "reality boost" when physically interacting with those viewing the illusion within certain (vague or constantly-changing) parameters.
If the spell focus or charm is placed in section 2, Basic Mesmerism, it works on a specific target or small group of targets within typical sight and hearing range of the spell. If placed in Section 3, Mass Hypnosis, or between the backplate of section 2 and title page of section 3, it targets all beings but the caster within a radius between roughly one kilometer and exactly thirteen leagues. If placed in section 4, Self-Hypnosis, it affects only the caster. If placed between the backplate of section 3 and the front page of section 4, it affects everyone in a radius 102% that of being placed in section 3, not exceeding thirteen leagues.
The physicality of the illusion typically fades before the visual aspect, even if the visual aspect is a permanent illusion, but never exceeds the duration of the visual illusion. Any effects that the physical illusion grants to a being with which it physically interacts are as permanent as they would be when granted from the real thing (arms removed by the illusion don't grow back, 20/10 vision and thermal vision granted by magical eyedrops lasts the same 1/20th of a day as it normally would instead of fading when the illusion does, etc.).

[Zotar]

The Smile

This book is adorned with a glowing, golden smiley face and contains various jokes and humorous anecdotes. However, holding the book for too long locks one's face into an unsettling, painful and permanent grin.

Reading the jokes aloud has the same effect on anyone who laughs.

The effect can only be reversed by saying "Uncle!" at the top of one's lungs five times at five second intervals. If any onlooker smiles or laughs while this occurs, the curse falls upon them as well.

And people say "smiling is contagious." We now find it affronting when people say that.
Whoever took that phrase literally owes us all an apology.

[JET73L]

The Book of Names
An empty artbook cover, from which the pages have all been cut (exampination indicates a very sharp blade, such as a scalpel or an exacto-knife style blade). A note inside the back cover states that the one who holds the book can control those whose true names are held within.

The Book of Lost Names
Describes dead gods and small gods, those who lost all believers, worshippers, and any other source of power they may have had. There is a section for those whose power is in having their name survive, likely as a paradox valve. Interestingly enough, contains at least two entries in the "completely gone" file whose names are appear printed in a way that implies having been scraped off of a page before duplicated to the pages they were found on, with a note that they had previously been in the "survive as long ss their names survive" section. It is assumed to update automatically.

Baking: Easy As 3.14159...
A seemingly normal cookbook, but the numbering system (aside from the title) is in base pi (where 1 is the relation between the diameter of a Euclidean circle and its circumference). Obviously, every number given ''except'' pi is irrational, and most cut off at 32 places past what would in base 10 be the decimal point.

[Zotar]

Codex Volatile

This book should be handled with extreme care because it is entirely composed of some sensitive explosive similar to flash-paper. There were two copies here when we started, each contained in a separate cushioned and airtight plastic chamber. Having inadvertently detonated one copy (one of our lesser staff is currently recovering from burn injuries) we were barely able to ascertain the contents of the book, which unsurprisingly point toward the manufacture of various items entirely out of explosive combinations of materials. For full review, we recommend staffing more steady-handed personnel.

Upon initial inspection of the remaining copy, there looked to be a folded scrap of paper wedged between the explosive pages. We have not yet decided whether to retrieve it.


You've Got To Know When to Fold'em! (Original title unknown)

This book is sentient and quite annoying. It continually writes itself like a journal or personal diary of it's own experiences. It seems to latch on to things to keep track of in it's current environment and then adds witty commentary. Since we entered this library and set about to archiving and destroying some of the more dangerous items, this book has quite astutely kept track of our progress. It's latest entry (which the title changed to corroborate with) has given us the number of losses our team has sustained since our mission began.

As the book states, we've lost two apprentices to falling injuries, three persons are in a mental ward, two have disappeared entirely, one is deafened, another in shock, a deputy dis-enchanter still hasn't returned from a sojourn into the world of Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, three officers were viciously attacked by a sexy sketch-book illustration, one of our hired staff is being treated for burns, and one dumb book-thief that snuck in for forbidden fruit is being coated with herbs to treat an alien strain of the Common Cold. The rest of us have certianly had our share of close calls.

The book advises us to quit while we are ahead and also jokes most appropriately that, "Good help is soo hard to find." More helpfully, the book tells us that there are still a few people hidden in the library that had been kidnapped by the previous owner of the library, who is as yet unnamed and unknown. The book is currently being interviewed as to the whereabouts of the missing persons and of the kidnapper.

Strangely enough, we have discovered a missing page from The Diary of a Lost Soul in this book. On this tattered page is a letter addressed from Jimina to "Dad" that apparently was never sent. This page was ripped from the very beginning of Jimina's diary and has sense been returned to whence it came.

[JET73L]

The Bookburners by Mynelo Tenscki
A YA novel with a story as though Fahrenheit 451 had been written as an homage to H.P. Lovecraft. The book appears to be impervious to damage, and has a play bill for The Littlest Elf: The Musicalbetween the last page and the back cover. There is a moustache drawn on the elf in ink. The "Also by this author..." page lists The Bookbinders as its companion book.

The Bookbinders
The book has not been found, but the card in the catalogue stated: "Returned in unreadable condition. Fine Taken: $14.95 and A Pound of Flesh".

A Pound of Flesh
A book of barbecue and grilling recipes with a similar invulnerability to The Bookburners. The only physical difference between this book (a third edition) and a mint-condition retail copy of the book are a note inside the front cover ("Beatty: Heard you like to cook. With love, G.") partially obscured by an inkstamp that says "Library Property: DONATED".

You<->Are Here: A Comprehensive Kosmography
An atlas in which the illustrations move around a central dot. For the first third or so of the book, the movement roughly corresponds with physical transport of the book, though some occasionally continue to change slightly and constantly. Further on in the book, the movements become erratic, and many seem to have nothing to do with the movement and heading of the book or its holder. Only the first map corresponds to actual geographical locations. Many maps, and every single map in the last third that has flags at all recognizable as text, have unusual alphabets and writing styles, though a number earlier on in the book have jumbled, difficult-to-pronounce uses of existing writing systems, such as the Standard English and other Latin-based alphabets, Arabic, Aramaic, and Standard Tibetan.