The Owl's Nest-The Nocturnal Imperative

[Miss Lockheart]

Hmmm that all makes sense.

It's been a long time since I tried to meditate properly, I find it harder these days. Mostly because I'm always on guard in case something happens with Jonny- I can't allow myself to go into a full state of trance. Plus I have a very clouded mind- I've always had trouble switching it off except during sleep. Even just trying not to think is really hard, as there's always something that comes to my mind. There have been odd moments during meditations I've done when I have achieved a state of total quiet, but it only lasts a few minutes. From what I've read it takes a lot of practice to extend that quiet more and more each time. Also I think you have to learn some visualization skills, which is more difficult than it sounds.

If only I could remember more of my dreams!! I'm sure I dreamed a lot last night, but the only thing I can remember is the moment just before I woke up, when a bee landed on my hand and I freaked out. I hate buzzing stinging insects, so I suppose I would be more likely to remember that. But I'm gonna study more about dreams and meditation, I find it all really interesting.

And now for my random moment-

If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it
Check out my hook while my DJ revolves it

[Revenant]

I remember about 50% of my dreams.And I have a book thet explains me their meening. I dont use it often, but when I use it, every time it tells me things that realy heppened in some time ( well most times it says about certain things or those which have already heppened ).

When I was a child there were a period of time when every night I saw one and the same dream:
"I was waching TV. Sudenly I felt a need to go to the kitchen. And when I was walking through the corridor I heared a blow of wind behind me. When I turned around I saw a woman in white dress. She had a long black hair that cowered her face. The wing blew stronger and stronger. She slowly walked to me. When she apeared just near she toched my hand. I felt pain and............woke up"

The strangest is: This dream I had only when I slept in my grandpa's flat, to where I arriwed once or twice a year.

[Terminal Est]

Interesting about dreams...I always try to find a logical reason for them, and believe specific things about them...but what is a lot more fun is listening or reading about people's dreams and their takes on it.

[bond of flames 2.0]

I'm in too...Im alone in the webfam thing anyway and besides when i'm on its night in Maine....so how is everyone

[Terminal Est]

You live in Maine? Awesome.

Double posting. Sue me.

Very well then, as I find myself once more, like every night, alone in my place and nursing my sorrows because I can do nothing more then feel sorry for myself, either fighting animated and suicidal houses in the slums of Midgar, or drawing...albeit very little now, or reading Bachman's stories or again, surfing the Internet...I find the complete need to rant and scream in the most incoherent ways. To people in real life who may come to see me, phone me, or people online, such as here...
Lately I have had this cavalcade of emotional outbursts and conflicts, and do not know what to do with them. I could come here and whine about it, as I sometimes do, but I find that to be rude, and not very classy.
So as I came here this night with a rather sombre and morose veil hanging from my face and the full intent to make everyone around me look away...I am very sorry for that, but I hate lying- I messed around and read some threads...and perhaps it took me forever to realize as such, but I believe that this must be my online home...every time everything sucks, I can always count on this place and the people in it to appease some of the drudgery from everything else. It feels like going to sleep...the peace and contentment is ephemeral and not this huge thing, I certainly do not suffer from online dependency, but it truly does help.

Or, a warm and comfy blanket

I picture this place as dark and silent, but also warm, snug and peaceful. A small corner somewhere with enough activity to forget solitude. Somewhere to relax, pass the time in a most enjoyable way, and let loose, and forget that when I go to work tomorrow, there be some monsters who make me pay for my tips, or governmental officials chasing after every fibre of my being for every penny I have, or once again, memories in the mind that will not cease to haunt me and make me cry like a stupid virgin.

I do not go out much anymore, and aside from going to work, my social circles have quite declined. I am happy this way though, but one always needs some company. My friend Jess keeps telling me to pursue my former Goth fashion-I am too old for that crap. XD She is two years older then I and still does it-in reality I am more then envious.
But she still keeps me company, and when she is not there, I find that this place is always so friendly and peaceful-sometimes I even forget that my electricity bills cost too much, and that I am physically cold in attempts to save my money.

So there. Instead of ranting about how depressed or angry I might feel for reasons I could try to elaborate but are probably not it, at least I found something positive and more then sincere to post. It might have been as incoherent and irrelevant in some ways, but at least it made feel better. It was spontaneous and, well just happened. So no, I am not seeking attention or attempting to suck up to anyone, even though I seem to make many threads and posts as the like, so you may carry on about ghosts and spirits and dreams.
But being a night oriented thread, and...well it is nighttime, when I am usually here and usually in the deepest of my personal abyss...I thought it was appropriate. So it is like a rant, but a good, positive one. As much as it may seem as so, this is not a contradiction, please believe me.

Once again, this was much longer then expected...but if you did read through it, I thank you very much. *Bows.*

Good night and sweet dreams then, and I do not agree with Edgar Allen Poe that sleep is detestable.

[MidgarFanatic]

What a nice post.

Well, we all come here for different reasons don’t we?

I like to come here because it’s something new to check out everyday, and sometimes I read some pretty crazy s**t… and I love you guys for it XD. Some of the things that go on around here are just so funny. We are all very different people and we all come from all over the world, but I find it pretty fascinating that such an amorphous and unorthodox topic as a video game can bring so many strangers together for some nifty conversations… I am very impressed by you all.

Lately, I’ve been leaning on the more introverted side myself, which is partially why I’ve had some time lately to write some of these long posts. The winters are long, and I don’t feel like going out every night in these conditions, so the Internet offers a nice escape.

When I’m doing any kind of soul searching I try and look towards the things which inspire my imagination in order to fuel my own passions. Lately, I’ve been interested in things like writing and copy editing… which I suppose is one of the reasons I’m here. Can’t beat a past-time that involves lots of reading.

So is that why I'm here? Practice? Past-time? Whatever the reason, it’s all good. But in the meantime I think we are all glad we have people like you Terminal to chat with.

I am on mostly at night because I work during the day, however I am on PST, so I suspect when I am logged-on it is actually pre-dawn for most since the majority on this forum seem to be in Europe.

Good night.

[Terminal Est]

Right, pre dawn. It is four in the morning here...should probably sleep sometime soon.

But I must agree, I find it quite fascinating that video games would bring people together, at least in some way, and that all of us have our different reasons why we are here. Some may be similar, some may never talk about it, and some may be just quite normal...trying to define and think about it all gives me a headache, and while I am sure of my reason for to come here, trying to establish it is kind of hard...it seems so subjective and personal for oneself, imagine everyone else! ...so I agree, whatever it is, it is all good. Else, I'd not be here to begin with. The forum may be somewhat slow, but it is peaceful, and completely contradicts the general nature of most forums. Especially video game oriented ones. MF seems to wish to further the discovery of the self, so let us prove all those Christians and anti video game people wrong! You just see a big sword and a women coughing, but we see the lifestream and the philosophical insights of insanity and conglomerations! Goo-waha.

A nice change, with interesting people.

I appreciate your post as well, and I believe I know a thing or two about introversion, but I also find all that stuff about soul searching quite interesting, although I will admit I do not quite understand all that you meant there.

But inspiration is enough I guess, and weather good or bad, you can always find something on the Internet, when it is too cold to go out and find experience.

Too many video games for me, I say.

It reminds me of a game, a very fabulous one in my opinion, although everyone seems to hate it...Shadow Madness.

Books are one way to learn. Experience is another. Both are valid.

Your post and that game and your signature, for whatever inspires you, remind me of all this.

The diversity is one of the things I think we all appreciate the most...it is merely hard to explain when you feel like crap. XD But I believe I did better today.

Also I got owned by Zotar for double posting. XD WOOT!

[Zotar]

Yes, Diversity is a biggie. Not only that, Talent seems to abound around here. We have novice singers, poets, Expert debaters, dreamers and Philosiphers. And it has a pleasant feel of a commune. All are welcome.

[MidgarFanatic]

Well, when I say “soul searching” I simply mean finding in life whatever makes you happy and just doing it… I do not mean it in a religious context in any way.

So for example, if I really enjoyed painting, or rock climbing, or salsa dancing, or whatever (not that I actually do any of those things… but you get my point) then I’ll find a way to do it, and have fun. This is an important philosophy that I like to live by, because I absolutely hate it when people say they love doing something but can’t seem to find the time to do it.

I believe I see it a little more simplistically than most, for I don’t necessarily consider soul searching as a very deep and life-altering experience (although it certainly could be). I just think we should just all do whatever makes us happy.

[Terminal Est]

Ah, yes I understand this. What more does one need then happiness for ''soul searching'' anyways? I guess it can be rather subjective, but I like your idea.