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Twenty Equally Interesting Replacements

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the time has come. Tonight is the series finale of Kate Plus 8, and it brings the family saga of Kate Gosselin and her many children to a close after years upon agonizing years. But don’t despair! The best thing about this show is that its title is short and rhymes. And there are plenty of other shows that could go into production tomorrow that would share many of these qualities.

As you may have guessed, we have taken the liberty of naming a few of them.

1. Crate Plus Date: You are set up on a blind date, which involves being stuffed into a crate for 12 hours with the other person. If you like him when you get out, you get married.

2. Bricks Plus Kix: The ultimate cereal smashing competition, with the victory going to the first person to reduce an entire bowl of Kix to dust.

3. Cube Plus Tube: Watching people solve Rubik’s Cubes over and over while fighting the distraction of old television shows.

4. Ghost Plus Toast: Have you ever attempted to contact the dead using only a toaster oven? This show will teach you how. Smart Watch(Hint: DO NOT set it on “Broil.” You don’t want to know what might happen.)

5. Shark Plus Snark: Online commenters are placed in large tanks with twenty Great Whites and left to fend for themselves.

6. Dog Plus Fog: Can a Jack Russell terrier find his way home during San Francisco’s mistiest night of the year?

7. Spat Plus Hat: When two fashionistas argue over the most desirable piece of headgear in a high end salon, who knows what will happen?

8. Goat Plus Float: Ten teams of two have to outfit goats with appropriate swimwear to allow them to cross the Mississippi River unassisted. (Rescue boats nearby for safety.)

9. Snake Plus Wake. Nothing livens up a funeral like a boa constrictor.

10. Hose Plus Rose: A serene gardening show traces a woman’s efforts to gently water all of her plants.

11. Brahms Plus Proms: These high school students don’t realize that their biggest event of the year is about to be taken over by a classical ensemble there to make sure they know that you don’t have to listen to rock and pop to have fun.

12. Soap Plus Rope: One of our most treasured Christmas gifts is traced from manufacture to sale to disappointed recipient.

13. Ape Plus Tape: You know that primates can do amazing things. You know duct tape can do amazing things. What are the possibilities when you put the two together? In the first episode, Bobo makes a hammock.

14. Hoot Plus Fruit: An owl. An orange. A beautiful friendship.

15. Arch Plus March: Twenty people with diagnosed foot problems have to walk as far as possible without consulting a podiatrist. Separates the men from the boys, the girls from the women, and the Achilles tendon from whatever it’s attached to.

16. Floor Plus Door: An unconventional construction company that doesn’t believe in walls or ceilings sets out to build its unusual homes in an initially reluctant suburb of Chicago.

17. Tweet Plus Meat: Social media is the stock in trade of this butcher shop that believes in letting everyone know when it’s time to enjoy some delicious steaks and sausages!

18. Cake Plus Flake: Every cake show needs a gimmick, and this one looks specifically at what it’s like to make a fancy cake for an event run by a strange, disorganized person. First up: A wedding cake for Lucy, who can’t remember her fiance’s name!

19. Burt Plus Yurt: An outgoing man moves to Alaska, where he constructs an energy saving, highly efficient hut of sorts and learns to live more simply.